FOS

Basically I have issues in facing myself. I know I did convince people a lot. Giving them advises and so on.. but the sad fact is that I am not capable on facing my own, dear self. I wonder at times a lot mostly about everything and when I get questions by some people like if I am okay or how well I'm basically doing. I barely can say anything yes I am bottling up my feelings. Feelings that I myself can't even explain. I suck pft.

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If I ever tell you the reason why... those reasons.. they are just only one. We hid what we feel as we don't want to burden others because in the end we know that what we are currently facing is going to pass and yeah you manage to go through the shits you are facing. At the age of 18, I thought it was easy but hell no it isn't. The responsibility I am going to face today, tomorrow and in the future might just amaze me. I also realize during this period of time that people I am close to distance themselves away not because of fights but because they too have their own responsibility to take care off. I understand them and respect them for that. Those who will stay during your dull or colorful days will eventually stay and that is what happens to me.

You see it's nice to know when you hit rock bottom the people you didn't expect are willing to give their shoulders to cry on or wasting their time just to ensure you reply through your dms or whatsapp to acknowledge that you are healthy mentally and physically or even those who care to lend their ears to listen to your voice note telling how was everything. I feel blessed to have this kinds of people around me. You guys know who you guys are and deep down low key I can't even repay back even so it's the simple ones. I pray each day that His blessings are with you and hopefully we're gonna stay friends no best friends like we used to.

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I've been through a lot but I know that this shits happen for a damn good reason. Time will tell when this cloud would actually show its silver lining. Even so, I am more grateful myself for whatever happens in my life because I learnt that He will increase more. He definitely will.. And indeed He is with the patience. You know as days past, I realize that this issues I am facing lightens as I get close to Him and He send me my greatest gift yet, family, friends. X